How to Conquer Crotchety Craig During the Holidays

 December is filled with festivities in many cultures such as:

• Hanukkah
• St. Lucia Day
• Kwanzaa
• Christmas
• New Year’s Eve

Most of these are associated with positive emotions and fun-filled and/or soul-touching activities, right?

Giving, sharing, laughing, decorating, eating, loving, celebrating, and pondering are just a a few verbs that come to mind.

And December nouns? How about gifts, memories, traditions, performances, family, food, parties, and music, to name a few.

So what do we do when there’s a Crotchety Craig in our midst? You know, the person that’s especially grouchy around the holidays?

They can show up in our workplace, the gym, our church, even in our family… and their presence starts to suck the light right out of the room.

Again I ask, what do we do?

Ignore them? Roll our eyes and shake our head, mumbling under our collective breath about what a jerk he is? Return his caustic sarcasm with a dose of our own?

Those are natural reactions, right? Well, maybe. But I have another suggestion.

Instead of getting drawn into his negativity, let’s have our inner light shine so brightly that it overcomes the darkness oozing from Crotchety Craig.

We may not have control of what’s going on in his head and heart, but we each have control over what’s in our own.

Let’s give him a kind word. Even if he continues to grump, let’s keep smiling.

He might scoff at us. Maybe he’ll be the one to roll his eyes. He may even display anger at our kindness.

Or he may have his stone heart pricked. Our light just may disperse some of the darkness from his burdened soul.

Either way, we’ll be choosing a higher road. We all are responsible for ourselves, not for our cranky associate.

And you know what? We don’t even know why Crotchety Craig acts with such gloominess and disdain. We may think we do, but we can’t look inside his brain or know all his history.

He may not even realize he’s such a pain in the tush. It may have taken him years to get to such a point.

I doubt if he woke up one day and said, “I’m gonna hate the holidays and I’m going to make everyone around me suffer.”

Something happened to him. Or to one of his loved ones. He is most likely in pain.

If we view him as a person in misery rather than a person causing misery, it may build up the compassion factor.

Let me share a personal example.

My sister’s youngest son, Spencer, was killed late on Christmas night a few years ago. The last time she saw him was at their annual Christmas celebration at their home.

She and her husband had spent a joyous day with their five children, their spouses, and oodles of grandkids for gift exchanges, delicious food, and gathering around the piano to sing carols.

December is no longer a season of joy for my sister. As the third Christmas without Spencer approaches, the sadness mounts every day. I can hear it in her voice.

She now orders gifts for the grandkids online when she can because it literally hurts her to be among the cheerful holiday shoppers.

When she does make purchases in a brick-and-mortar, I suppose people think she’s a grump because there’s no sparkle in her eyes or smile on her lips as she waits in line or cashes out.

And my brother-in-law. Oh, my. He really IS Crotchety Craig during the holidays now. His former witticism and laughter have been replaced with irritation and cynicism.

But of course, he’s the one that went looking for their missing son and identified Spencer’s body at the morgue. I can only imagine what he went through.

Knowing their story, it’s easy to overlook the grouchy comments and show love instead of annoyance.

And I suspect that through family and friends that continue to pour out love and acceptance, my sister and brother-in-law will heal bit by bit until someday they may even enjoy the holiday season again.

I hope so.

But the thing is, everyone has their own story. We just may not be aware of the details.

So instead of judging people and labeling them as negative, how about we act as if we already know their story?

Act as if we know the reason for their heartache and be filled with compassion. Treat them with love and respect, even if they don’t show it in return.

Let’s choose the higher road and offer our unconditional love, forgiveness, and holiday cheer to everyone we meet.

And that includes Crotchety Craig.